When the cartel is gunning for your family and your business associates stab you in the back, the only thing that might get you through the day is some greasy, cheesy comfort food. Ain’t that right, Marty Byrde?

Welp, Wendy certainly has her hands full, so we’ve taken it upon ourselves to show you how to make jalapeño popper loaded tater tots to munch on while watching the drama unfold in Part 2 of the latest and final season of Ozark. This inexpensive, satisfying dish is one that just about everyone — from the hardy Snell family to those fancy folks up in Chicago — is sure to appreciate. 

Jalapeño Popper Loaded Tots | What to Eat While Rewatching Ozark

It’s a known fact around these parts that no Midwestern table is truly complete without gooey cheese and crispy tots. We’re keeping it super simple by starting with a base of store-bought tots. And, while you’re at it, grab a bag of shredded pepper jack cheese. As we’ve all learned from the money laundering business, life is so much easier when you don’t have to get your hands dirty.

Jalapeño popper loaded tater tots

Ingredients

1 bag store-bought tater tots (cooked according to package instructions) 8 ounces bacon 8 ounces pepper jack cheese (shredded) 1 tablespoon cornstarch 1 bunch scallions (root ends trimmed and thinly sliced, white and light-green ends separated from dark-green ends) 2 cloves garlic pinch of cumin 3 jalapeños, chopped (remove seeds for less spice), plus more thinly sliced for garnish 12 ounces can evaporated milk 1/2 cup cilantro, roughly chopped (divided) hot sauce to taste

Preparation

Add bacon to a medium-sized pan and cook it over medium-high heat until the bacon is browned and crispy. This process should take about 8 minutes. Meanwhile, pour the shredded cheese into a medium-size bowl. Add cornstarch and toss to evenly coat the cheese. Set it aside.

Using a slotted spoon, remove the sizzling bacon to a plate lined with paper towels. Add the white and light-green ends of the sliced scallions, garlic, cumin and jalapeños to the bacon grease. Season with salt and pepper. Cook until softened, about 3 to 5 minutes. Add the evaporated milk and bring to a boil. Remove from heat and add the cheese. Stir until the cheese is completely melted. Season with salt and hot sauce to taste. Then add half of the cilantro and cooked bacon. Stir to combine.

To serve, drizzle some of the jalapeño popper queso over the hot tater tots. Top with remaining crumbled bacon and cilantro. And don’t stop there — serve it with more queso on the side.