Meet Michael (Neil Patrick Harris), a New York City real estate broker who’s been cryogenically frozen in a relationship for 17 years until his partner Colin (Tuc Watkins) abruptly calls it all off — at a surprise birthday party Michael has thrown for him, no less.

What follows is Uncoupled — a dramedy about a middle-aged man thawing out in an unfamiliar world of gay hookup apps, D pics and aging. But the journey isn’t a total downer: There’s poignancy in Michael’s reinvention as he’s boosted by close friends Billy and Stanley (Emerson Brooks and Brooks Ashmanskas); his colleague and confidante, Suzanne (Tisha Campbell); and a wealthy and demanding new client, Claire (Marcia Gay Harden in peak MGH form), who’s not only uncoupling from her husband but also her luxe condo. (Hookup apps aside, the real estate porn on the show is stunning.) 

The cast, along with the show’s executive producers Darren Star (Emily in Paris) and Jeffrey Richman (Modern Family), spoke to Tudum about the inspiration for the series, the sexxxy opening scene that didn’t make the final cut — and poppers. To be clear, not the jalapeño variety.

Monica Schipper/Getty Images for Netflix

Darren, you are excellent at creating specific slices of life, be it Melrose Place, Sex in the City or Emily in Paris. What made you want to explore one about predominantly gay men grappling with aging, reinvention and love?
Darren Star (executive producer): Because, of all those shows, this is the one that I can relate to the most and had the most to say about. So that sort of was my jumping-off point. We have a place like Netflix that's excited to tell those stories and we have an audience, I think, who wants to hear them, relate to them and understand how universal they are.

Neil, when you first read the script, what made you think, “I need to be part of this show”?
Neil Patrick Harris (Michael): I loved how it straddled different styles of shows. On the one hand, it's a breakup show, a singular personal story about what happens when someone has the rug pulled out from under them. And on the other hand, it's a fun, light comedy where silly things happen and you get great comedy banter with close friends. And it's sort of sexy, naked Grindr dating with guys who are half my age, right? So there were a lot of assets. And I was curious about how to sort of helm the ship and make those disparate ideas come together.

When I read it, actually the very first page of the first scene, which wasn't even in this [final] show, starts with two guys in bed together. Colin [Tuc Watkins] is sleeping, waking up and is realizing that he's getting a [sexual act redacted]. And then as you slowly pan back, he finishes. And my character pops up his head and says, “Well, you had a great morning already.” That was me reading page one of the script, and I’m like, “I'm in. Where do I sign?” I liked how it was able to play sexy and devastating and funny all in the span of 30 minutes.

Michael & Colin Have a Surprise For Each Other | Uncoupled S1E1Now that's a double whammy.

There are certainly more shows with LGBTQ representation than there were 20 years ago, but there aren’t many that show intimate sex acts and address PrEP and Grindr and things that gay men talk about in their everyday lives. How important was it for you to see that come to fruition in the show?
Harris: Well, I applaud how it was discussed with such casualness. Michael is gobsmacked that these things happen. But it’s more comedic, because I think in reality, people know that these things exist. It’s just that Michael never really had to personally deal with any of it because he was in a long-term relationship.

So there’s intrinsic comedy about putting yourself out there again that I think goes well beyond gay/straight or old/young. Dating right now in 2022 is very strange. It’s hard to make a connection. It’s easy to have satisfaction, and that’s kind of great because it allows people to seek out what they want and achieve it. But I do think when you have a story where the protagonist is seeking connection, he finds himself in this delightful Willy Wonka workshop of opportunity that is unsatisfying to him. And so I think there’s opportunity, as you can imagine, for comedy in all aspects of that.

Tuc, your character, Colin, is a bit of a cipher. And we don’t really know his motives for splitting up with Michael. What types of blanks did you have to fill in for yourself as an actor?

Tuc Watkins (Colin): Well, I was the guy receiving the action that Neil was doing on page one. So I just said, “I’m in.” But beyond that, it’s tough to reconcile the behavior of someone who dumped someone after 17 years without any explanation. What kind of person does that? I remember asking Jeff [Richman] early on when we were shooting, and I said, “Why is he doing this? What’s going on?” And all Jeff said to me was, “He has a reason.” And he left it at that.

As an actor, sometimes that’s all you need to know. So while I didn’t know the exact reason, I had an inkling. I can certainly identify with what it’s like to reach midlife and think, “Am I on the path that I want to be on?” And, “Am I going to stay on this path and just pace myself out, or am I going to blow it up?” And Colin decided to blow it up.

Marcia, you have been a long champion of telling LGBTQ stories to audiences — you appeared in Angels in America on Broadway in the ’90s. Why do you feel like it’s so important to continue to not only tell these stories, but participate in them?

Barbara Nitke/Netflix

Marcia Gay Harden (Claire): Texas? Florida? I mean, look what we’re going through. We see rights being taken away, right, left and center. And it’s really, really disturbing. All my kids are queer. And they teach me every day about language and [pronouns]. I was like Claire at first: “They is plural? I don’t know why you want to say that.” 

But then you learn, and there’s nothing better than being an open-minded person. And I think that that’s what I loved in this character, Claire, is that she comes from a world of judgment. She comes from a world of being closed-minded, but slowly that brittle surface gets pried open. And she learns that the only answer to uncoupling is not necessarily recoupling, that there’s a whole life that she has yet to discover first. 

Tisha, what was one of your favorite scenes to film? I’m specifically thinking of the one that you and Marcia had in the club where your characters bond for the first time. 

Tisha Campbell (Suzanne): Well, yes, of course it would be the kiss that they cut too quickly. [Harden and Campbell’s characters memorably kiss in Episode 7.]

Harden: We need another take!

Emerson, you probably have a role that’s the most fun to play, a Peter Pan character who’s clinging to his youth. What — or who — did you draw on to create him? 
Emerson Brooks (Billy): Ultimately, regardless of what was written on the page, I wanted to come in and make him as likable and supportive as possible. I wanted you to think he’s just a great friend to have. And then let the writing come into play and to peel the layers back on him and show there’s this complex human being who’s going through his own discovery — maybe he has to uncouple from some of his behaviors in order to maybe find another level of happiness and maturity. 

Barbara Nitke/Netflix

Brooks, you and Neil have known each other for a very, very long time. How did that friendship translate onto screen in this show?
Brooks Ashmanskas (Stanley): Well, I hope it translated well! Yes, Neil and I have known each other a long time, happily so. But it doesn’t always translate to being like, “Oh, so they should be great friends on camera.” There was a thing that struck me immediately when we started this — with Emerson as well, the three of us — I felt that we were all friends for life immediately. It’s sort of unexplainable and beautiful when things like that happen. 

Jeffrey, this also represents a reunion for you and Neil from [NBC sitcom] Stark Raving Mad. What was it like to reconnect after all these years?
Jeffrey Richman (executive producer): Well, we had seen each other through all that time, but he was 26 years old when we did that show. And already, he was so impossibly skilled and breathtakingly talented in a not-great show. But he was such a standout in every scene.

So, coming into this, I knew his skill set, that you could throw anything at him. He was so far and away our only choice for the part because of that. And I love that we had a history together.

Harris: And Tom Holland was unavailable.

How Neil Patrick Harris Found the D-Pic in Uncoupled‘I think I still have it on my phone.’

This is a sexy show, so I wanted to finish up with a couple sexy questions. How does one source a pic of genitals to appear on television?
Harris: It’s a great question!

One day, someone on the crew says, “So we’re going to leave some things in your room. You need to pick one... We’re going to take a picture of it for your dong.” So I go to my room and there’s these weird two flaccid penis things — these sad little sausage-y looking things that didn’t really even look like wieners. And I just thought, “These are the two options for what the world is going to think is my hee-haw?”

I thought there has to be a better choice. I said, “Can’t we just look online and find a picture of someone’s wiener and adjust it or get the rights to it?” And so then we had a glorious text thread where Jeffrey said, “Well, all right, send me some pics.” And I said, “All right.” So I start looking up D pics. You want it to be a normal size, but not too big. I don’t even know how it wound up happening, but we kind of got in the right area.

Star: Then you have to get the...

Richman: Then you have to get the rights to the penis. People have to sign off on the penis.

Star: And we did a few drafts of Stanley’s. It was way too small and sad. And they were like, “It was too little.” I’m like, “We got to give Stanley some pride here, and we got to understand Stanley’s got it going on too.”

It’s like a Goldilocks thing where it’s too small, too big and just right.
Harris: Exactly.

Final question: There’s a memorable scene that takes place at Limelight [a famous 1990s New York City nightclub]. How many of you went to the Limelight back in the day, and what was your favorite memory?

Harris: Limelight was great. It spoke to a time in New York when it was alternative. You were in a church, there were multiple levels. It felt like the original Sleep No More. 

Harden: All I remember is poppers... dancing and poppers.