It’s been months since Mai Whelan last zipped up her green tracksuit from Squid Game: The Challenge. In order to keep the details of the show under wraps,  the 456 players who participated in the reality competition series weren’t allowed to take their kits home, whether their garments were ink splattered or not. But if it were up to Mai, also known to her fellow players and viewers at home as Player 287, there’d still be one tucked away in her closet today.

“The tracksuit is not too far from what I usually wear,” Mai tells Tudum during a recent visit to her home. “I would wear it again. It’s very comfortable.”

Nic Serpell-Rand/Netflix

Now, in its place hangs something else: an intricately beaded, black velvet Ralph Lauren gown Mai plans to wear for the first time during her upcoming press tour as winner of the competition. The dress is the kind of purchase the 55-year-old retiree would’ve never even considered before the show. However, now, as the recipient of the $4.56 million prize, she’s letting herself indulge. “It’s a beautiful dress. I couldn’t help it,” she says. “But that’s about as frivolous as I want to go.”

Besides the winnings, little else has changed in the newly minted multimillionaire’s quiet life since beating out the two other finalists, Sam (Player 016) and Phill (Player 451). Instead, Mai has been content laying low since the series ended, relaxing at home with her husband and their two dogs, and spending time with her 12-year-old granddaughter. “It was a relief to go back to normal life and not worry about getting eliminated. I needed that after two and a half weeks of intense go, go, go, and emotional ups and downs,” she says. “But the person that came into [the competition] is me. I’m still Mai, and she hasn't changed — except that I came out stronger.”

It’s taken time, however, for Mai to shake the anxiety that affected her in the game. Constantly questioning who was an ally and who was a threat left her feeling isolated at times, but she also stayed nimble enough to outlast the near constant twists thrown her way. “Every day was fear for me — fear of getting eliminated, or fear of getting picked on,” she says. “It was a real fear coming from deep inside me.” While she formed strong bonds with a handful of players, Mai says some others displayed “Jekyll and Hyde” behavior in the dormitory. “One day, you’re happy and talking to everyone, and the next day it’s like, ‘Oh, I don't know if I can trust that person,’” she says. “It was very hard to protect yourself and process every personality you met. Every minute of every day [was spent] just waiting to either be eliminated or advance to the next game.”

Pete Dadds/Netflix

Outlasting both friends and foes doesn’t come without making some difficult choices. But for Mai, putting Ashley (Player 278) up for elimination in the Dorm Test involving dice isn’t one she regrets. “I stand by my decision,” she says. While Mai empathized with Ashley when it came to the pressure she faced in Glass Bridge, Ashley’s initial refusal to jump immediately made Mai question her. “Everybody’s looking at you to make that decision: left or right,” she says. “I can understand the fear that comes over you.” 

Although Ashley eventually did take the step, it wasn’t enough to convince Mai. “Even though I [was one of the only people] who comforted her at the end of Glass Bridge, I was disappointed in her because she seemed like a very strong person,” Mai says. “For her to just stand still and not do anything [at first] made me feel like I couldn’t trust her in a team. So if I had to eliminate anybody, then yeah, it would be her.” 

Betraying her ally Roland (Player 418) during Circle of Trust in the penultimate episode, however, is a moment that still stings. “If I were to see Roland right now, I would say, ‘I’m sorry, buddy,’ ” Mai says, noting that eliminating him was “the hardest decision” she had to make in the competition. “I picked Roland because he trusts me so much. I braided his hair, and I was playing mother to him [in the game]. I didn’t want him to be eliminated, but at the same time, if I were to put the box on anybody else’s desk, then they were going to pin it on me. It’s an individual game, and this close to the end, you just have to make a decision.” 

Watch Mai’s Exit Interview

In a competition as brutal and intense as Squid Game: The Challenge, there’s simply no pleasing everybody — be it her fellow players or the fans watching around the world. So regardless of the swirl of opinions about her gameplay, Mai’s resiliency both in and outside of the game is her superpower. And should anyone ever doubt her ability to beat the odds, they need only to check her history. A Vietnamese refugee who survived a near-death experience before coming to the United States, Mai is a single mother with 20 years of service in the US Navy — and a career as an immigration adjudicator for the Department of Homeland Security — under her belt. 

Coming into the competition, the cards were stacked against her once again. At 55 years old, Mai is one of the older players in a game where players were initially sized up for their perceived strength and stature. Plus, as an Asian woman, she contends with additional assumptions about her. “People will think it couldn’t possibly be me,” Mai says about her victory. She is well aware that all of these factors — in addition to her skillful gameplay — makes the outcome of the competition that much more meaningful to many of those watching. “I am so glad that I’m a woman, I’m a minority, and able overcome everything at my age,” she says. “So I’m putting it out there, ‘Don’t be afraid. Be who you are and just plow through.’ ” But just like in real life, she didn’t get through the game without help. Mai is quick to remind anyone who asks that she couldn’t have done it alone. “I want to let all of the players know that without their support, I wouldn’t be here today,” she says, making special mention of TJ (Player 182) and Chad (Player 286), who both proved to be powerful allies in the game. “I’m very grateful to them for having my back.”

Pete Dadds/Netflix

That belief in the common good is what’s driving Mai’s next chapter. Because while winning is nice — life-changing, even — Mai is ultimately more concerned with just how far the $4.56 million could reach beyond her own backyard. So once she’s done renovating at home, ideally including building a small dock for a boat, she’s setting her sights elsewhere. “My heart is with people, animals, and climate change,” she says about how she plans to spend her winnings. “If we continue what we’re doing, there won’t be a future for all the little kids growing up right now.”

Want to hear more from Mai? Well, you’re in luck, because Player 287 has officially joined social media to celebrate her big win. Follow along here. 

Watch Squid Game: The Challenge on Netflix, and follow along with our official Squid Game: The Challenge cast guide.