“Saying no to you is a win!” In one of the most shocking wedding day moments in Love Is Blind history, Ashley took the reins of the ceremony — with a sports metaphor of her own — to end her engagement with Alex before the former soccer star had the chance to do the same.

While the couple seemed somewhat optimistic as they walked down the aisle, things quickly turned south once the ceremony kicked off.

“He is a good-looking person, I can give him that,” Ashley tells Tudum about her decision. “Looks aside, I need so much more from a partner, so I chose myself. I deserve something so much more extraordinary, and that wasn’t it. That was subpar at best.”

Although Alex didn’t seem all that surprised by Ashley’s message — unlike his mom, who looked to be shocked in the audience — he does take exception to one element of her speech. “When she came at my integrity, that was unexpected,” Alex shares with Tudum. “I was very proud of myself for not responding negatively because it was a highly emotional moment. I absorbed the hit and let it go.”

Keep reading to check in with the former couple as they break down their wedding day that wasn’t — and why they even made it to the altar. 

Why did Ashley and Alex go to the altar?

Prior to walking down the aisle with her outspoken divorce-lawyer father, Ashley shared that she would be “shocked” if Alex said yes to marriage. 

But the couple still decided to meet each other at the altar in front of their family and friends to make the final decision on their relationship.

“So what people don’t know is that I had a conversation with Ashley off-camera the day before the wedding,” Alex shares. “I was [like], ‘Hey, we didn’t get there, but I thank you for being my partner through this.’ I really didn’t want her to get blindsided. It was a quick conversation — met with an ‘Okay, I respect that’ from her — and that was that. I was going into the ceremony thinking we were going to politely just be like, ‘Hey, it wasn’t it.’”

Although Alex’s mind was made up, Ashley says she was determined to reach the final phase of the journey, regardless of how Alex might feel. 

“I needed to see this all the way through, not only [for] the experiment, but for myself,” Ashley shares. “My dad always says the best thing he ever taught his kids is how to make a decision. I’m a fighter, so if I have an argument with the person that I love, I’m going to fight through that — I’m not just going to run and hide and ghost him. I’m going to give him the opportunity to show me that he can be the man I deserve.”

Ultimately, Alex didn’t live up to Ashley’s expectations. With a stunned crowd looking on, Ashley detailed her disappointment with his lack of effort regarding intimacy — as if they were more like roommates than fiancés — since returning to Ohio, while also questioning his past, honesty, and integrity.

Ashley says her determination and openness weren’t just about her at that moment, but about showing other women that they are in control, too. “I hope people see that and realize you have the strength, and you have the power to say no to something that you don’t deserve even on your wedding day.”

With support from their respective families and friends, Ashley and Alex head off — separately, of course — into the sunset, to reflect and recover from a challenging relationship.

Why didn’t Ashley and Alex get married? 

From intimacy challenges to questions of integrity, Ashley and Alex clearly flamed out upon reentry into the real world — and each has their reasons for why. 

“It was just two people, two very, very different lives, and it just didn’t work,” Ashley says. “At the end of the day, there were just some nonnegotiables for both of us, whether it was his lying or it was my hair color. I’m not everybody’s cup of tea. I know that, and I’m just looking for something more.”

For Alex — no matter the depth of their emotional connection — the physical aspect of their relationship was the ultimate obstacle.  “I hate this answer, but it’s honest,” Alex says regarding why Ashley wasn’t the one for him. “It’s the physical. [She] was not the type of woman that I wanted physically, and I couldn’t get past that. I hate saying it, but it’s true.”

Ashley’s criteria, however, runs deeper, as she is searching for a true partner who’s “a little bit more ambitious and driven.”

“Someone who wants a career, stability, and a family,” she adds. “When we were in the pods, those things were painted for me beautifully, and that’s why I connected so strongly with Alex. We had similar dreams. Our futures were very much aligned as far as where we wanted to live and settle down and plant roots. Now it’s wild. I see he did not want to settle down at all, and he was just telling me those things.”

To hear more from Ashley and Alex about their explosive wedding-day breakup — and to see where they stand today — make sure to tune in to the Love Is Blind Season 10 reunion on March 11.