Thirteen-year-old Stacy Friedman (Sunny Sandler) has been planning her bat mitzvah with her best friend Lydia (Samantha Lorraine) for what feels like forever. She has it all figured out: an awesome theme (New York City, duh), iconic food (Lydia’s got the Twizzler bar covered), the hottest guy in school, Andy Goldfarb (Dylan Hoffman), on her arm, and, most importantly, a killer playlist from local Jewish celebrity DJ Schmuley (Ido Mosseri).
Sure, practicing her haftarah and deciding on her mitzvah project are part of the gig, too, but what she really needs from her parents (played by her real-life dad Adam Sandler alongside Idina Menzel) is to help her throw a bat mitzvah to remember. Even if her dad has no idea what the kids these days see in a guy like Schmuley.
The movie touches on universal themes we can all relate to — being embarrassed by your parents and your sister being the only one who gets it, fighting with your best friend over a boy, and finding yourself as you grow older. But it’s also consciously Jewish — and what’s more Jewish than Este Haim (yes, of the band HAIM) as a co-composer for the film’s dreamy score? “HAIM represents so many things that are at the heart of a bat mitzvah: friendship, family, sisterhood, Judaism, feminism, vulnerability, and creative expression,” director Sammi Cohen tells Tudum.
Haim’s score, composed with frequent collaborator Amanda Yamate (they also worked on 2022’s Do Revenge) reflects the thrum of everything feeling so heightened when you’re 13 — including making your own decisions (for better and for worse), and learning from them. “When chatting with Sammi about creating a score that captured the highs and lows of being a 13-year-old girl, Sammi mentioned wanting to have a “dreamy, dizzying, head in the clouds” quality,” says Yamate. “We all agreed that a dreamy synth palette with deconstructed pop layers would capture that well.”
Read Tudum’s conversation with Cohen, Haim, and Yamate below about how they crafted the perfect playlist and score for Stacy’s harrowing coming-of-age journey.
What was a song that was a must-include for this movie that really captured the age and spirit of what Stacy was going through?
SAMMI COHEN: The [music in the film] as a whole is supposed to feel like a playlist Stacy would make. So, really, I think every song in here is a must-include, but if I had to pick one it would be “traitor” by Olivia Rodrigo.
How did you curate what songs DJ Schmuley would play? And how would you describe his DJ vibe?
COHEN: We had a playlist for the movie before we even began filming. A lot of the songs Schmuley plays come straight from that playlist. He’s got a knack for the classics but knows what’s cool and current. His personal taste is eclectic, but his DJ sets play more to the masses. He’s really just a big kid who knows how to have fun.
Este and Amanda, you previously worked together on Do Revenge, another relatable movie about teenage girls coming of age. What made you want to reunite for this project? And what is it about these kinds of stories that speaks to you, musically?
ESTE HAIM: Amanda and I just get along really well. We have very similar sensibilities and universally agree on what sounds cool and what doesn’t. They really have the best taste in music. I think because we are actually friends in real life, it was a no-brainer to do another movie about friendship. Plus, it was another excuse for us to hang out all the time.
AMANDA YAMATE: As a composing duo, Este and I were both really drawn to the relatability of this story as well as the musical direction. Honestly, when starting a new cue, we inevitably would start sharing stories of our own similar teen experiences (some hilarious, some horrifying) that related to the scene and used that to figure out what emotions the music should be adding. Since we loved this musical direction, the process of writing was really fun. We would both hop on either my Juno-106, Moog One, or Fender P bass and noodle around while dialing in the chords and sounds that felt right for the scene. Este is an amazing drummer and percussionist, so recording her going in on the “Tense Meet” cue was really fun.
How did you approach capturing, through music, the highs and lows of being a 13-year-old girl? When everything feels like the best thing ever or the end of the world?
HAIM: After listening to A LOT of the music that I was listening to in middle school, I came to the realization that much of the music I listened to then is still the music that I listen to now! The songs of my childhood are really still songs that I draw inspiration from today. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t go back and read some of my journals from 1999 to find inspiration as well. I was SO emo at 13.
YAMATE: When you’re 13, everything feels intense, but there’s an innocence to these new experiences. We hoped that with sparkling melodies, pulsing bass, and heart-warming chords that we could help amplify those core moments like getting butterflies around your crush, being hit with the excitement of your best idea ever, or the warmth of making up with your best friend.
What inspired you to want to include HAIM’s song “Now I’m In It” in the film? Why did the placement feel right?
COHEN: If you’re looking for a group of Jewish legends, look no further than HAIM. They’re insanely talented musicians, icons in the Jewish community, and role models for a modern, forward-thinking generation. I knew we needed at least one of their tracks in the film and this one fit perfectly — great placement by our editor, Brian Robinson.
This song, in particular, feels both reflective and hopeful. It mirrors the moment we find Stacy in. The music is driving us forward and the lyrics touch upon Stacy’s inner journey: “We cannot be friends, cannot pretend that it makes sense. Cause now I’m in it. But I’ve been trying to find my way back for a minute.” She doesn’t know how to make up with [her best friend] Lydia, but she knows she has to start focusing on doing her best and being the best version of herself. It’s such a great song and helps us feel like we’re starting this new chapter in the film.
Was “Cha Cha Slide” a non-negotiable to play at Stacy’s bat mitzvah?
COHEN: There are some things that won’t ever change at a bat mitzvah. The “Cha Cha Slide” is one of them. DJ Casper’s hit track was a must-have for this movie. Every Jew knows a bat mitzvah isn’t complete without the “Cha Cha Slide.” For me, neither was this movie.
You can listen to the full playlist on Spotify and Apple Music, and check out the track listing below:
Leah Kate “10 Things I Hate About You”
Icona Pop, Charli XCX “I Love It (feat. Charli XCX)”
Desire “Under Your Spell”
Rick Derringer “Rock and Roll, Hoochie Koo”
Lady Gaga “Stupid Love”
Saint Motel “Preach”
Tiësto, Icona Pop “Let’s Go”
Dua Lipa “Don’t Start Now”
WILLOW “Wait a Minute!”
GROUPLOVE “Tongue Tied”
Remi Wolf “Monte Carlo”
Santigold “Valley of the Dolls”
Fire Choir “Obxessed”
Healy “Nikes On”
Arkells, Cold War Kids “Past Life”
Olivia Rodrigo “traitor”
Sleigh Bells “Riot Rhythm”
GAYLE “abcdefu”
The Happy Fits “Hold Me Down”
Selena Gomez, Marshmello “Wolves”
blackbear “hot girl bummer”
Doja Cat “Say So”
Beach Bunny, Tegan and Sara “Cloud 9 (feat. Tegan and Sara)”
HAIM “Now I’m In It”
Weezer “A Little Bit of Love”
Radiant Baby “Réputation”
Gus Dapperton “Post Humorous”
Pitbull, Play-N-Skillz “Party of a Lifetime”
DJ Casper “Cha Cha Slide”
HOLYCHILD “Over You”
Commodores “Easy”
Bust a move with Stacy and her friends when You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah premieres on Netflix Aug. 25.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
