Between cross-country travel, last-minute gift shopping, and the looming reality of spending time with opinionated relatives, the holidays can be an anxiety-inducing minefield. It’s a lesson Tumi Sello (Busi Lurayi) learns the hard way in How to Ruin Christmas: The Wedding, the first season of a holiday series that explores every possible angle of family Christmas drama you can imagine. 

In the show, our protagonist — nay, antihero? — makes her way to Johannesburg for her sister’s wedding on Christmas Day. Already designated the family black sheep, Tumi is determined to avoid any confrontations, scuffles or scene-causing accidents while she’s home for the holidays. Of course, as fate — and the show’s writers — would have it, her trip home doesn’t exactly go that smoothly.

Lucky for us, Tumi’s endless mistakes make for great small-screen entertainment. But there’s a palpable discomfort when watching her ruin Christmas that nearly every black sheep can relate to. Ahead of the show’s second season, How to Ruin Your Christmas: The Funeral, here are a few pro tips to avoid being the Tumi Sello of your family’s holiday gatherings.

Don't hook up with anyone unless you’re sure it won’t cause drama.

At the start of Season 1, Tumi kicks off the chaotic week by sleeping with another character in the show, Themba Twala (Motlatsi Mafatshe), who is… married. We don’t know who needs to hear this, but: Hooking up with someone else’s spouse — or anyone who is spoken for — is just a bad idea. That said, if you happen to find a fun, stress-free hookup during the holidays, go for it! Just, maybe, avoid bringing them back to your parents’ house.

Avoid political arguments with relatives who will never agree with you.

It's hard to bridge generational gaps, and it doesn’t get any easier when you’re sipping eggnog and feeling brave enough to correct your elderly uncle’s bad political take. It may eat you up inside to have to listen to outdated ideas — or downright offensive ones – but take it from us: avoid the eye rolls, clap backs and just any debates that you know won’t be taken seriously on the other end. Instead, pour yourself another cup of eggnog and maybe go to another room to cool off. 

Order gifts well in advance.

Nothing says “I forgot” like the gift card you bought from CVS on Christmas Eve. If you don’t order presents in time to wrap them — neatly — by the day you’re exchanging family gifts, you’re looking at a long and winding guilt trip. 

Arrive at the airport early — very early. 

Anyone who has taken a flight during the holidays knows that airport traffic can get out of control. Not to mention, you’re probably going to deal with some canceled flights, misplaced luggage and interminably long security lines that can halt any vacation plans. Instead of enduring the stress of rushing to your gate, take your time getting to the airport, maybe buy a magazine and try to decompress before being confronted by your entire family.

We cannot stress this enough: Don’t text your ex.

Returning to your home town will trigger a lot of old feelings. One of those might be the chance to rekindle an old flame. But don’t be fooled by the holiday-colored nostalgia: Texting your ex is never a good idea, lest you enjoy crying at your family dinner table. And sure, there’s a chance you will run into a few ex-lovers or friends during your trip home — just remember that you’ll be flying right back to where you came from in a few days. No need to open up that baggage. 

Save family secrets for later. 

If there's a mysterious, unproven rumor that’s floated around your family for generations, it’s only natural to want to get to the bottom of it — especially when everyone reunites under one roof. Here’s the thing, though: It’s best to save the detective work for after the holidays. Why, you may ask? Well. If you’ve lived long enough for a rumor to become some mythic chapter of your familial history, chances are it’s not your business to unpack it — let alone during a high-stress, high-tension time of year when there are inevitably a few people drinking. Tumi found this out the hard way: Family secrets don’t make great holiday gifts.