Pristine beaches, linen jumpsuits and sun-soaked drama? That can only mean one thing:  Netflix’s first Australian docusoap, Byron Baes, is here, and boy is it wild. 

When musician Sarah St. James and social media star Jade Kevin Foster move to the coastal town of Byron Bay, they fall in with a tight-knit group of locals. But not all is as idyllic as it seems, as Sarah quickly finds herself in the middle of a drama-filled love triangle. As the group starts to split down the middle, the alternative-lifestyle-leading locals try to resolve the bubbling tension the best way they know how. Cue outlandish fire-twirling ceremonies, art therapy and shouting matches that belong on Melbourne’s Chapel Street on a Saturday night (“I’m not a fuckboi!” says Nathan for the millionth time).

Which has us wondering: Could we resolve, ahem, bad vibez, by bringing all our mates over for a Handmaid’s Tale–esque sound healing? Is it practical to replicate Simba’s fire ceremony every time we end up in a love triangle (which happens more often than we’d hope)?

In our own best interest, we’ve decided to sit down, pour a savvy-b and rank every conflict resolution method the cast uses in Byron Baes by whether we could actually afford them. (Spoiler: No.) 

Paul A. Broben/Netflix

4. A good ol’ confrontation

Sometimes people need to be called out on their ish and no one’s kicking that into gear better than Johansen-Bell sister Jessica. You can’t convince us she’s not an Aries because that fire-sign energy literally leaps out when she confronts Hannah in Episode 1.

But while a cheeky confrontation might be free, who wants to just talk things out — boring. After all, when in Byron…

Cost: $0

3. Art therapy

What do you do when you’ve got spare paint, a tension-filled friendship and a couple messy binches? Make even more of a mess and call it, uh, “art therapy.” In Episode 8, Cai leads a workshop to help some of the baes “clear the air,” turn their beef into beauty and answer the age-old question: Can art heal all?

But while something like this might only set us back the cost of some arts supplies, judging from the way Elle flings that paint like a toddler with a brussel sprout (blegh), all the art therapy in the world can’t save you from a Gemini with a vengeance. 

Cost: $40

Ben Symons/Netflix

2. Shamanic fire ceremony 

Is it getting hot in here or is Simba on the scene? After toxic energy starts to cloud the Baes, the former finance bro decides to hold a fire ceremony to burn away “internal deadwood” and create space for groundedness and healing. Think: drumming, sage, organic cacao and fire twirling.  

After sussing online at how we could burn baby burn some negative vibes of our own, we stumbled upon a couple events that offer exactly the same thing. Better defrost that credit card though, because each ticket will set you back an average of $120. Conclusion? Yeah, nah we’re good — we can get the same experience from a Fitzroy sharehouse.

Cost: $120

1. Sound healing

Did enemy No.1 just walk into your party? As Hannah knows all too well, sometimes the only way to rid yourself of some bad juju is with a full-on sound-healing sesh. As sound practitioner Avi Sherbill told Harper's Bazaar, sound healing uses musical instruments to create meditative vibrations to the equivalent of a “massage on a cellular level.” Clocking in at upwards of $450, depending on how many people are attending, we’d probably rather put on a Youtube video and just pretend it’s the same thing. Close your eyes and you won’t even be able to tell the difference… right? Right? And, in case you missed it, no booze while you sound-heal.

Cost: $450