Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare is the third time Kirat Assi’s story has been released for public consumption. Before the documentary, it was packaged as a multi-episode podcast that debuted in 2021 — but before that, Assi’s story went public without her involvement or consent. “My witness statement was shared,” she tells Tudum. “I didn’t decide to put the story out there. It was done without my knowledge.”
That witness statement led the creators of the Sweet Bobby podcast to contact Assi, a former radio host who now runs a marketing company, about telling her story on her own terms. While Assi hadn’t planned on sharing her story, she realized if she didn’t participate, it would be too easy for “stupidly sensational lies” to overpower the truth. “So I just went with it,” Assi recalls. “I thought it would be a small thing. I thought, ‘There’s a million podcasts out there. Who’s gonna listen to this one?’ ”
In the end, the podcast was very popular, attracting thousands of listeners and even winning awards — and with a catfishing story as wild as Assi’s, it’s hard to imagine it wouldn’t be. For several years, Assi believed she had forged a strong bond with a man from the London Sikh community named Bobby Jandu. Over time, they exchanged jokes and confidences, and when Jandu informed Assi he’d suffered life-threatening injuries overseas, she came to be in contact with his friends and relatives, as well. Their friendship eventually blossomed into a romance, and Assi looked forward to the day when Jandu would be healed so that they could finally meet in person.
But then, things started to change. As their courtship evolved, the person she knew as Jandu became increasingly cruel and evasive. Assi became determined to track him down. When she finally met Jandu in person, he insisted that he had no idea who she was. The person who had actually been messaging her for years was forced to come forward. Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare recounts Assi’s experience anew. In the aftermath of her ordeal with the person she believed to be Bobby Jandu, Assi says she found solace in speaking with others who had endured similar experiences.
“When I had no support, it was only in coercive-control groups that I could speak, where I felt like no one was going to shame me,” she tells Tudum. “I’m ever so grateful to those groups for sharing their experiences and helping me understand what I’d gone through.”
Through the process of participating in both the podcast and the documentary, Assi hoped that their releases would coincide with the conclusion of the criminal case against her catfisher. “My main concern is still the criminal case, and that’s always been my priority,” she says of the ongoing process. Even so, the successful outcome of her civil case has given her the strength to continue telling her story. “I don’t think, without the civil case, I would have been able to speak,” she explains. “I needed something, a piece of paper that had some kind of power, a ruling, anything, which gave me authority to speak publicly.”
Looking back on just how long she’s been fighting for her catfisher to be held legally accountable, Assi hopes that others like herself won’t have such a tough time seeking justice in similar cases. “We all see there’s something wrong here,” she says. “How many cases can the police deal with about the same thing? Because suddenly everybody’s coming forward. I’ve been told the laws exist to deal with your case already, that we don’t need a catfishing law. Fine then — learn how to use the laws in place.”
Still, Assi is careful to point out that she doesn’t intend to be a crusader. “While I’ve got the window to do things, while there’s a light being shone on me for however long it is, I’m not scared to say, ‘Yes, let’s do this. This is what we need.’ I will always speak, and I’m not saying no to helping create change. But I do want to live my life, too,” she says. “I’m not making myself the go-to person for this. I enjoy my media and arts work. I enjoy my marketing work. I’ve always enjoyed what I’ve done — I want to continue enjoying [it] after the rubbish that I’ve had to deal with.”
Watch Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare on Netflix.
