Harry Jowsey knows what you think of him. But Netflix’s most renowned bachelor, former f-boy, and self-identifying “naughty possum” has one promise: “You’re in for a big awakening.”

Jowsey isn’t one to shy away from his history — the good, the bad, and the messy. The 6-foot-5 model first joined the Netflix Reality Universe as a fresh-faced 21-year-old on Too Hot to Handle. There, Jowsey found himself on an island surrounded by plenty of temptation as well as the opportunity to lean into his flirtatious nature. The Aussie quickly stood out for his cheeky sense of humor and class-clown antics. “I was just trying to make my friends laugh,” he says. 

Now, almost 30, Jowsey says that the man at the center of the reality series Let’s Marry Harry — in which 20 women don an engagement ring and compete to become his wife — bears little resemblance to the guy on Too Hot to Handle. This time, Jowsey says, he came in prepared, self-aware, and finally ready to make a real connection. “It was about time that I took [my love life] a little bit more seriously and slowed down,” he says. 

For years now, Jowsey has been laying the groundwork to become husband material — including getting plenty of advice from the many Bachelor Nation alums who cycle through his podcast. Fans have long campaigned for him to take on the role himself. He didn’t need it — because, in his view, Let’s Marry Harry does it better. “The Bachelor format is kind of played out,” he says. “It’s a little bit medieval in a sense.” Instead of passing out roses, he points to the ring ceremonies in the series, and the seriousness baked into the premise from day one. “I feel like we perfected the formula.” 

Central to the series’ success, he says, are the women. “I got lucky with this group of girls that were on the show, because they made it a really safe space for me just to be honest and vulnerable and open up,” Jowsey says. “Whereas on other shows, it’s more just chaos and drama. This was a very real experience.”

But that’s not to say that the potential brides didn’t have hesitations. Many arrived concerned, he says, about what they read about him on the internet. “There’s so much in my life that’s online, but not really so much of me,” he says of the persona. “A lot of things that I would do or say would be for reaction, for the public to comment on, or to have a viral post.” 

Looking back at his stint on Perfect Match Season 2 and his short-lived relationship with Jessica Vestal, he’s candid about the mistakes he’s made while the world watched on. At the time, Jowsey says he was going through a bad breakup that led to breaking his sobriety. “I thought that maybe going on Perfect Match would be the answer to all my problems.” It wasn’t. 

“There’s a lot of regret, to be honest,” he says. “It was unfair for people to deal with the collateral damage to that and for me to just not show up as the best version of myself.” Watching it back gave him a new perspective. “I’m really grateful for all the shows and all the experiences because it made me as ready as possible for Let’s Marry Harry.” 

Still, the real growth happened with a call he wasn’t expecting to receive so soon: His father was dying.  

“That really kind of reroutes anyone,” he says. “The hardest thing is, I was sitting there with him in those final days recording stuff for my kids in the future.” Jowsey thought of the moments his dad would miss out on — including meeting whoever would be the love of his life. “I’d love for you to see the incredible person that I had in my life,” Jowsey remembers telling his father. Watching how his sisters, who also appear on Let’s Marry Harry, built their own families only sharpened the feeling. “It really made me take that step back and go, ‘Wow, I should probably put a little bit more effort into this and a little bit more understanding.’”

That reset sent him looking for answers in self-help books, like He’s Scared, She’s Scared, on the fear of commitment. “It was all about self-sabotage and just trying to have that personal understanding of maybe why we are the way we are.” 

That introspection didn’t stop once the cameras started rolling. If anything, living in a house with 20 women vying for his hand in marriage forced him to confront his old habits in real time. “There was a younger version of myself that I could feel kind of creep forward a little bit, and that immaturity came out,” he admits. “So there was a lot of mental gymnastics of understanding that I didn’t want to be that guy anymore. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I have to nip those bad habits in the bud and keep it moving.”

But Harry didn’t have to shoulder the responsibility of finding a soulmate alone. His three closest confidants (Amanda Kloots, Georgia Hassarati, and Sonny Henty) had major influence over who Jowsey spent his time with and who was sent home. They would also, as Henty puts it, “Protect him from himself.” 

Jowsey’s 20 fiancées may have felt a certain way about his ex-girlfriend showing up, but Hassarati swears she had no “ulterior motive” in participating in the experience. “Harry and I have grown to have a really great friendship after our relationship,” Hassarati says. “After some testing family times, he really had a clearer perspective on the importance of finding a forever person and creating a family.”

Kloots shared similar conversations with Jowsey about his newfound desire to settle down. “When this opportunity came up for him, I felt so protective of him, because he had told me how badly he wanted to get married and have a family,” Kloots says. The friends developed a deep connection after bonding over grief. “I had lost my husband, so I had a new appreciation for love and marriage,” she reflects, adding she wanted to be there to make sure Jowsey found the right person. “I really see what a beautiful spirit [Harry] has.” 

When asked what the 21-year-old version of himself would make of all this, Jowsey doesn’t hesitate: “He wouldn’t believe it,” he says. “He probably would have thought Too Hot would’ve been it, and I would’ve been kicked out of this industry by now.” The bigger shift, he says, was in his empathy. “The most surprising thing would be the self-awareness. That younger version of myself didn’t really care about anything else apart from just having a good time.”

It’s that self-awareness — hard-won through grief, introspection, and, by his own admission, plenty of mistakes — that Jowsey hopes to prove the skeptics wrong. “It was exactly what it needed to be,” he says of the journey to find love. “Such a beautiful experience. And I hope people really enjoy it.”

Let’s Marry Harry is now streaming on Netflix.