When it comes to show descriptions, it’s really hard to beat Toy Boy: a series about a male stripper wrongly accused of murder who tries to get to the bottom of who framed him and why... while working at a strip club on Spain’s Costa del Sol. Hot shirtless dudes in paradise plus a murder mystery? Sign us the hell up, baby. 

And while the murder mystery part of the show is a complicated web of betrayal and criminal activity, the stripping part is delightfully simple: Abs. In honor of humankind’s basest instincts, we’ve compiled a list of our favorite of Toy Boy’s many, many striptease numbers. While some of them are standard-issue titillation you could find in any club around the world, others are far more intellectual. Or, at least, take a little more time to crack conceptually. 

It was a real hardship to devote so much time to this article, but it was a sacrifice we were willing to make for our readers. Read on for our ranking of Toy Boy routines, from hot to “wait, what?”

‘Toy Boy’ Bed Routine, Episode 7

Sexiest: Bed Routine, Episode 7

OK, it’s definitely weird to start a ranking with the best item first, but Toy Boy doesn’t follow typical rules so neither will we. You might think slow jams and the occasional rock song are ideal for stripping — but you wouldn’t necessarily be correct in the world of Inferno. We’re declaring this sexy bed - themed routine — which involves a willing audience member being pulled onto a bed on stage and being grinded upon — the very best our boys have to offer. 

‘Toy Boy’ Auto Mechanic Routine, Episode 2

Still Sexy: Auto Mechanic Routine, Episode 2

The ideal sexy fantasy. Shirtless dudes with outrageously defined abs ready to do some manual labor and fix your car? Count us in. We’ll ignore the song if you [redacted] your [redacted] and [redacted].

‘Toy Boy’ Sports Routine, Episode 8

Again, Definitely Sexy: Sports Routine, Episode 8

This dance takes place at a sports-themed 20th birthday party for a girl named Estela, who is far too handsy with the dancers. But the jock persona portrayed in this scene — beefy, sweaty men ready to follow your game plan — is a sexy stripper trope for a reason.

‘Toy Boy’ Gladiator Routine, Episode 10

Sexy but Getting Weirder: Gladiator Routine, Episode 10

This is more of a logistical question than anything: These guys are struggling, right? Which is why they get involved in some salacious (read: illegal) extracurricular activities. So how in the hell do they get so many elaborate props to set their stages? It feels quite expensive and, honestly, a waste of money when no one is going to be looking at the set decoration. As far as the routine itself, which is vaguely Roman gladiator-themed, we love the slightly more cerebral yet still very sexy motif. 

‘Toy Boy’ Flamenco Routine, Episode 11

No Real Concrete Theme but Still Sexy: Flamenco Routine, Episode 11

This concept is the most abstract yet. Was the theme “top hat?” “Brooding?” We settled on “flamenco” for naming purposes, but it really just seems like an excuse to get some of these guys in eyeliner. (It really, really works for half of them, while the other half aren’t really suited to the smoky eye look. Maybe a bold lip?)

‘Toy Boy’ Angel Wing Routine, Episode 13

Conceptual Titillation: Angel Wing Routine, Episode 13

Category is… angel wings? This here’s another conceptual theme rather than a fully fleshed-out idea. The pitch meeting for this routine feels like someone got a lead on a few pairs of giant man-sized angel wings and everyone was like “cool, sorted, let’s move on to the next idea.” It still works!

‘Toy Boy’ Phantom of the Opera Routine, Episode 3

Weird but We’re Into It: Phantom of the Opera Routine, Episode 3

Sometimes you show up to Inferno and get treated to an amazing sexy dance routine full of thrusts, body rolls and traditional patriarchal archetypes. And, sometimes, you’re treated to Andrew Lloyd Webber — but shirtless. It’s a real roll of the dice, and that’s what we love so much about Inferno, a place where dreams you didn’t even know you had can come true.