As all Tall Girl fans know, Jack Dunkleman (Griffin Gluck) is jonesing hard for Jodi (Ava Michelle). Although those feelings have been lurking behind their entire SEVEN YEAR LONG friendship, Jodi struggles to get past the fact that Dunk is, well, a short king (paging Tom Holland).

But her greatest gripe? Dunkleman has carried around a trademark milk crate for years. Do we know why this teenage boy has decided to defy logic in pursuit of committing to a bit? It’s the mystery gnawing at the back of our (and Jodi’s) minds for the entire 90ish-minute run time.

In the last scene, we finally learn why Milk Crate Boy carries his milk crate around: so that when Jodi finally likes him back, he’ll be “ready.” As in, this young man would be ready to get up on his milk crate so she wouldn't have to lean down to kiss him. Romantic? Sure. An extremely intense long game for one to play? Totally. A little bit obsessive? Undoubtedly. 

Anyway, in the spirit of debunking with Dunk before we learn the fate of the famous milk crate in Tall Girl 2, I thought, why don’t we take this opportunity to curate our queries for Milk Crate Boy? Shall we begin?

1. First of all, sir, where did you even get this milk crate?

Dunk, did you steal this from a grocery store? Does a milkman still drop off gallons or cartons of milk on the doorstep of your New Orleans home? Does your family own a small farm that’s more on the suburban outskirts in Covington? Milk crates aren’t an item people typically have lying around their homes like a broom or a vacuum.

2. But really, why not... a backpack?

It’s the more practical choice, after all. Even Taylor McKessie in High School Musical made more sense lugging a rolling backpack around so she wouldn’t permanently damage her spine from the weight of her high school textbooks. And is it not against school policy to bring a milk crate to school? I guess no harm no foul if they don’t mind the onus being on Dunkleman to transport it every day — but still, it’s quite the statement piece.

3. Why do you have a strap for your milk crate?

This is not a messenger bag like one donned by a writer who’s heading to a Silver Lake coffee shop to look brooding and pretentious. Connecting a strap (is it even retractable?) to your milk crate just seems like it would make no difference if the crate is constantly bumping into your side as you climb the stairs. And excessive bruises on your thighs? Not so glamorous.

4. To that end, how many straps have you gone through?

It’s had to have snapped on multiple occasions — and seen your smoothies and textbooks kersplatting in the hallway, right? At this rate, I’d wager you’ve got a box of straps in your room, probably next to your framed photo of you and Jodi dressed as the gnome and the sunflower for Halloween.

5. Haven’t those smoothies ever leaked? 

Props to you for making a smoothie in the morning. Fully support getting that healthy dose of fruits in for a nutritious breakfast. But with all that bobbing as you carry this crate around, your smoothies had to have fallen over and leaked onto your books and papers at some point. Here’s hoping it’s a pretty tight seal around that thermos.

6. OK, so you have a milk crate. But where do you even keep it?

There’s no way this big, hulky box can fit in an ordinary high school locker. And think about it, when you go to the restroom, where do you put it? Is Jodi going to hold it for you? Do you leave it on the bathroom floor? Wouldn’t even want to dream of what’s been on those floors...

7. Do you ever get splinters?

We know you don’t only carry it satchel style — you also hold it on both sides using the handles. But is there ever a stray piece of wood that just sticks you in the finger? At least we can count on Jodi to be there with a tweezer in your hour of need.

8. How did this crate not break already after piling so much stuff in there?

You carry everything in there, man — you even place your school lunch tray on top. You’d think after years of toting that something’s got to give. Or perhaps this crate is made from the sturdiest wood in all of New Orleans?

9. Alternatively, have you ever tried carrying a pizza box in that crate? 

It really does fit perfectly on the back of your bike once you tie it up with a cable or two. And, hey, you need to save up some money to buy Jodi the heels of her dreams from Scream Queens, so why not consider taking up an after-school job as a delivery driver for Postmates or DoorDash?

10. And lastly, was it worth it?

Clearly, by the end of the movie, you top Jodi’s boyfriend checklist after a) taking a punch in defense of her honor, b) proving just how much you really see and adore her and c) standing on top of the milk crate — this gimmick takes the cake. But let’s get real for a second. Once she shows up at your house after Homecoming, Jodi’s all in, so she would have kissed you whether you stood on the crate or not. Having you stand tall-er than her so she wouldn’t have to lean down was beside the point. Plus, if y’all stand the test of the sequel and stay together, is she really gonna be so afraid to lean down for a kiss?