[Harry] If I was president, I'm figuring out period cramps. First thing I'm doing. Harry and his friends don't pay taxes, and period cramps get eliminated. At this rate, I could be president. Everyone else on reality TV shows are doing it.
[lighthearted music playing]
[producer speaking] Monopolizing? That's a big word for Elmo. What does that mean? He's not balding. Ugh. The bar's set so low.
No, a man who's not balding though?
[Dannelle] I know. I just feel like many men are on their way to potentially be balding.
[Dannelle] It's true. Especially when they do bad things and are around our age, they bald quicker.
That's what they get.
[Maya A] Yeah.
[Rickiyah] Correct. That's what I mean. So he's gotta be a good guy, 'cause he's not balding.
[Dannelle] Or he's getting ahead of the Rogaine.
Or he went to Turkey recently.
[Dannelle] I don't know.
Or I don't know.
[Rickiyah laughing] So this is, yeah, the foyer. We had to watch our fiancé walk in from so many dates that we weren't on.
[Abby] Sad, huh?
During this. This is the stairs. And wait, he's up there. Dennis, your daddy is up there.
[Abby] Mmhm.
[Emma] Look at all this food.
[Abby] Are you hungry? You could have whatever food you want, Dennis, in this house.
It's your mansion, we're living in it.
[Emma] Yeah.
[woman 1] I mean, they did a whole Pilates workout with no weights. [laughs]
[woman 2] The last time I did Pilates, I literally queefed in the middle of it.
[woman 3 gasps] I love that you just said that out loud on national television.
[Mya B] You smell that? You smell that peanut butter? What is happening? In my belly button. It's in my belly button.
[Harry] Why is it in there?
[laughing] I …
[Harry sucks] Is it out now? It's the perfect hole for … many activities. I feel like that would be extremely cocky to say that I have the strongest connection, but I do think, in all realness, I'm, like, up there on the top. Is that PB still in your BB? It's not!
[women exclaiming] If I got a tramp stamp, I would probably get "Boner Garage" with an arrow pointing down.
Hell yeah!
[women laughing]
Is that a rabbit?
[Emma] That's how you're gonna kick. Go get it. Please go get it. Please go try and catch it. Lower. You have to be lower.
[suspenseful music playing]
[Emma screams]
[Harry laughing] I was quick. You didn't even try to be sneaky.
I do feel a little dick deprived.
[music stops] Like, a little. Does no one else?
No, I … just …
[crickets chirping]
[women snickering] Yeah. It's just weird, like, flirting with a man for so long, and like … That's why I talk to Marty. You got a new book?
[Sammy] This is the Bible. [laughing]
[Harry] Oh.
Want me to read it to you?
[Harry] Yeah. "The Lord is my shepherd. I lack nothing." "He makes me lie down in green pastures."
[ethereal music playing]
[Harry] And what does that mean?
Amen. It means that the Lord is with you, and like …
[Harry] He's my shepherd.
[Sammy] "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit …"
The meek? Meek Mill?
[Sammy laughs]
Not Meek Mill.
Okay. "Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth." Okay, but what does meek mean?
[Sammy] Like, meek, like …
You don't even know.
[Sammy] Yes, I do. What does meek mean?
[Sammy] Meek is like … I think, like, weary, and like, like …
[laughing] You don't know!
[Sammy] Mousy. [laughing] I need the Holy Spirit to come.
[Sammy] He's in you, always. I don't want him — Don't be in me. Ew.
[Sammy] It's not "ew." He's in your heart always.
Oh, I thought he was in my bum.
[Sammy] No, and like, no.
[Harry laughs] And what does it say about period cramps? Nothing. Well, he should have at least had a page about that. Look, all I'm saying is if I, number one, was president, or Jesus, period cramps wouldn't exist.
My initials are S-A-M.
[woman 1] Are they?
Yes. And my name yeah.
[woman 2] What's your middle name?
Alexis.
[woman 2] Your parents really did it with that. They didn't want to name me Alexis. They were worried they’d call me "Sexy Lexi."
[Sammy] Round of applause! But they called me Slutty Sam anyways.
[woman 2] They said, Sam's SAM.
[all laughing]
Your parents call you Slutty Sam?
[Sammy] No, no! [laughing] No, they were worried, "Sexy Lexi." They found — they found other names for me.
[all laughing]
[Sammy] Yeah. But my initials are S-A-M.